Butter and Guns, love, and I have enough guns for now. So yeah, absolutely, keep the money you work to earn. We’re already a team; putting it on paper just makes it official to the rest of the world. But I already have your back, same as you have mine, we’re equal. I love you more than $90. I love you more than anything $90 buys, or anything $90,000 buys. I love you more than a career, a house, or a car; more than status, celebrity, recognition and praise. I love you more than my computer, the Internet, movies and TV, guns I own, and I even love you more than I love clear plastic boxes, or any box you can can think of. I love you more than sex and more than the Army. I love you more than being right, or thinking I’m right. I love you more than my pride and how loving you reveals flaws in me that give my pride a well-deserved beating every now and then, usually when least expected. I love you more than holding onto those parts of me, even if they made me, me, because you love me, and I might be a fighter, but I’ve done enough of it to know that in a fight between being me and being better, you’d be the winner. I love the things you think and the way you aren’t afraid to tell me when I’m wrong, or when you’re wrong, or when we just see things differently.
Brian sent this to me today.
I love him back.
I actually kind of hate birthdays. I never know what to buy people. In the end I have settled on: “It’s not what you want, it’s what I want to give you.”
That being said, I had to get Brian something for his birthday (which is Sunday). Naturally he gave me no definite ideas, only that he wanted something to hang up in his room. He told me he liked quotes and the idea of this hidden message quilt.
This post isn’t really about Brian, more the gift. As much as I try to “art” for other people, I clearly have a style that comes across in what I do. This was supposed to be something Brian would like, something he would pick out, and yet… it’s very me. Mostly I was kind of surprised, this is what/who/how I am? A visual representation of what I like, how I think, what feels right to me.
Art (if I could be so bold as to call this that), like Tweets, statuses, bios, blogs, home decor choices, what we choose to take pictures of, is all an expression of ourselves. Obvious, right? I don’t really think people think about it. While I thought this up and made this, it’s still influenced by so many things that aren’t me. Shortcuts, impressions, environment. Because of this no one can really copy anyone, and no one can really be original either.
As I’ve said before, all of this stuff gives us away. Sometimes I wish there was a way to code this type of data and see what it says, I feel like once compiled it would show an image of that person, set against a spreadsheet, outlined in numbers.
Anyway, since Brian never reads my Twitter or blog:
It’s poster-sized. I used common scrapbooking supplies, vintage post cards, dictionary pages, a map, playing cards, cookie fortunes, tickets, puzzle pieces, tape measure, etc.
It says in Morse Code: “Every moment before this one depends on this one.”
There are only two rules in my house: no drugs and no loaded weapons.
I don’t even know exactly how many guns are in my house right now- my cousin is big into hunting and Brian’s are here. I’ve been around guns my whole life, but I don’t know anything about them. I’ve never shot one, or been taught how to handle one. Because of this, and the fact that my niece is around, the “unloaded” rule is something I’m very strict about.
Brian held a big group shooting event, but I missed it so he took me out separately. I think it actually worked out better this way, allowing me to ask as many questions as I wanted. I learned a lot. How to load a gun, hold it, safety, etc. But I still have a lot to work on: like not pointing it at Brian while I’m talking, keeping my finger off the trigger when I’m not firing…
Okay, I’m not very good with a handgun.
But with a scope, I never missed. (Yay, technology!) Brian said he was impressed and even bragged about me to another male, so I feel like it’s okay for me to feel cool about this. (And like I could be useful in a zombie uprising.)
Other than that, I don’t really like guns. I’m not against people owning them or anything, I just don’t see them as necessary for me. Statistically, I will never need a gun for protection. And if there comes a time when one would have saved me, I’ll be dead, so it won’t matter.
As I loaded the magazine for the gun I’m holding in the 2nd photo, it was unsettling. People do kill people, so why are we making it easier? That gun is specifically designed to do just that, and I never want to own anything made with that intention.
That being said, guns are not going to go away. (We’d just find another way to kill each other, I’m sure.) I think everyone should be taught gun safety for everyone’s safety. At least now I won’t accidentally kill anyone.