a lEss i

Posts tagged girls

Rocker Girls

The rocker shoot was a blast! It consisted of me, Jamie, Erin, and Megan. Keegan was there as “manager.” Jordyn was unexpectedly called out of town, so she had to miss the main shoot.

We all were to come up with our own outfits, which ended up being interesting, but worked in the end. Mostly, we just danced around to “Baby Got Back.”

Working with a lot of people in a shoot is always challenging, but to do it with friends made it seem silly. I’m glad to have these photos, because I know I’ll look back on them someday and laugh.

Later, our rockin’ photographer, Scott Butner, added Jordyn to the band as a surprise. I’ll let the pictures speak for themsleves:

All photos are by Scott Butner.

Making the Band

We started planning the Rocker Girl shoot all the way back in January. My friends wanted to do a group shoot, but we needed a theme (since we already had a willing photographer). Beyonce’s “Green Light" video was the original inspiration for this, but it quickly took on its own feel. People lent us instruments and ideas. We started putting together second-hand store outfits and throwing quick messages back and forth on Facebook. A date was decided upon. We tattooed up, pizza was ordered, and although we had a photographer just out of shoulder surgery and a rocker called out of state- the show went on.

These are ‘behind the scenes’ photos from the shoot.

What I’ve Learned About Relationships

This blog will be a mess, it may be repetitive and is based on knowledge I have “collected” from life experiences and people around me. I hold myself to none of it, because hopefully I’ll get better at it. If you can tell you contributed to the way I feel about love and relationships, please know I chose to leave all names out, I doubted anyone would want to take claim or blame.

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Common Sense Guidelines

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If you don’t see yourself being with the person you’re with forever, what are you doing? If you don’t see yourself being in a long-term relationship, don’t start one. If you are using someone to fill the loneliness you feel sometimes, stop. If you doubt any part of your current relationship and aren’t truly happy, you’re wasting your time.

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You will know the first time you’re with someone if you like them, and by that I mean enjoy their company. If they’re even mildly annoying or unattractive to you, it’s not going to get better. Someone told me about a rule involving 3 months, by the time you’re with someone for three months you will know if you want to be with them the rest of your life. My neighbor told me a long time ago, “A girl’s got to be sure.” She was right, you have to be sure. Gray area and “pretty sure" won’t do. Move on. You’re only going to hurt the other person more in the end. And maybe yourself too.

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A friend told me this about jobs: either find passion in what you do and love it, or find something else to do. This can apply to relationships as well. You can decide to be passionate about what you have, refocus if you have to,  and discover new areas of your current relationship that you love if it means a lot to you. Or you can move on.

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Why waste time on someone you kind of like? How old are you? Let’s say about 20. And let’s also say that we only live until we’re about 80. That last 20 years went by pretty fast, huh? The next 60 will too. Are you sure you want to be in a relationship that’s just “ok” even for six months? You will die. And when you do, you want to look back and know you made it count with someone that counted.

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Puppy love will die. You had better be the best of friends. Lovers do not stay lovers, but lovers can become companions. And companions are for life. Marry your best friend. That is how you know you’ve found the right one, it’s not about love at first sight or butterflies. Those things are fun and exciting, but cannot be sustained like friendship can. If you are dating your best friend, you’ve probably found the one.

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All feelings are valid, even if fleeting. This is why we can fall out of love, love someone we barely know, or look back and wonder what we were thinking. You felt those things, so they were real. Take those feelings into account, but be careful, make sure they turn into lasting feelings. Communicate, tell people how you feel. Always. And listen when someone tells you, and respect them enough to be honest back.

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And after all that, take with you something from every relationship and apply it to your next ones. Learn and grow.

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People are dumb, immature, and hurtful at times. (And you will be too.) Forgive them. The past is the past, don’t let it dictate your future.

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Those things being said, the grass is not always greener. All relationships have problems, know that going into one will never be perfect. You will not always be happy, but you should be in a position to know that a small fight will not end it, and that overall the good will outweigh the bad. And sometimes, it will be pretty bad.



But it will be worth it.